We Bring Good Things to Life
**Viral VIDEO**
Skippy Massey
Humboldt Sentinel
We’re glad to see technology finally getting the recognition it deserves.
Now folks everywhere will finally get to know more about the partnership between Panasonic and Monsanto.
It’s true. Your friendly neighborhood multinational conglomerate megaproducer of just about anything you can plug in, has joined forces with your friendly neighborhood multinational conglomerate megaproducer of food-adjacent consumables.
It’s a marriage made in bio-heaven. Together, we developed the science of Seriously High-brid Industrial Technology®, a technology that is more than just a crappy-catching acronym!
The future is here. Let us explain.
For far too many years those greedy farmers have been taking all the credit for keeping you and your family fed.
Monsanto and Panasonic, meanwhile, have been quietly working away behind the scenes to produce more and more Finger Lickin’ Good foodstuffs. Using patented micro-robotic nano-hybrid GMOs, we’re making those incredible edibles bigger, better, tastier, and on occasion, even sentient.
Imagine the possibilities. But wait. There’s more. Much more!
Not only do we do all of that, but those very same foodstuffs can now make air conditioners, refrigerators, washing machines, compressors, lighting, televisions, personal computers, mobile phones, audio equipment, cameras, broadcasting equipment, projectors, automotive electronics, aircraft in-flight entertainment systems, semiconductors, batteries, electrical components, optical devices and electronic materials.
OK. They’re very small ones. We’re working on that. Nanotechnology is a hard row to hoe.
In fact, we’ve worked so quietly for years that it almost seemed like the two companies didn’t even want people to know we existed, much less think about the mutual substances and novel biotechniques used in growing our “foods!” and
manufacturing appliances, together.
Now we know that was all just a misunderstanding. It couldn’t be that Monsanto and Panasonic has finally crushed all meaningful opposition stopping us from becoming the only viable producer of nutrients and machines left in the world in just a matter of years. What a silly thing to think!
So Where’s The Beef? Well, we’re working on that. And let’s face it: the world is our oyster. Wake up and smell the roses. Your Vision, Our Future; Live in your World, Play in Ours. By the way, we make those oysters. And roses.
And another point since we’re the ones here talking to you. It’s also silly to question whether the chemicals you ingest every time you eat a Monsanto crop are slowly poisoning every cell in your body. You gotta eat, right? Just Do It.
We all know that Between Love and Madness Lies Obsession. Corporations don’t lie. It’s the Real Thing and We’re Stronger than Dirt. So that’s the end of any critical thinking, mister!
Our customers tell us all the time, “I’m Lovin’ It.” So don’t bother checking into the campaign contribution made to your congressman, either. He voted to remove quality control measures from the USDA protocol because it was the right thing to do, that’s all. Save Money, Live Better, we say.
You go to Heaven for the climate and Hell for the company.
So why not Have it Your Way. Yes, you can have it all. And eat it. Just like cake.
Monsanto and Panasonic, together: The Happiest Place on Earth.
We’ll Leave the Light on for You®.
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